There have been times in my life that I am so lonely for the people I love and who know me. I miss the comfort of their embrace, the echo of their laugh. I miss watching them as they rejoice in my children. In those times, when I'm so far away from friends and family, I don't care about culture, about the 10-40 window, about how many millions of people still haven't heard about the love of Christ. I don't care about the light that I bring to the darkest of places, or the smiles that come from those foreign faces. I just want to go "home".
Then there are times like the one I am in now. I live in comfort, my suitcases are zipped and stowed away. I drive a mini-van and love it. My boys play soccer with other little American children. I can call any family member or friend and talk to them for as long as I like without having to take the time zone into account. I am privileged to attend a huge and thriving church body every week and worship our King with hundreds of others. Our voices rising together, our hands clapping and our feet tapping to the beat. Each time I'm there I am reminded that I'm not alone in this pursuit of Christ - there are others! So many others.
And yet... I find my heart aching for the nations. I hear about something going on in Kenya, and I want to be there. My neighbor takes a trip to India, and I just crave to see pictures and hear the stories. I talk to a couple who are adopting from China and I want to travel with them to sign the papers. Haiti, Chile, Jordan, Uganda, Morocco, South Africa, Germany, Mongolia, Vietnam, Venezuela... I want to see them all. I want to pray with my knees down on each ground. I want to look into the eyes of every child. I want to hold every baby. I want to encourage every national Christian. I want to tell every single lost soul about the incredible life that I have found. Or should I say, has found me? My heart starts to cry out, "Send me Lord, Send me!"
And so it is as of late. My heart is aching as a mother's heart aches for children she hasn't seen in a long time. And my question becomes, "When will I go back Lord? And what do you want me to do in the meantime...?"
