21 Days

I've known for a long time I have a problem with self-control.

In 2 Peter chapter 1 there is a hierarchy of qualities that build on top of one another. The first is faith, and to your faith you should add goodness, and to goodness comes knowledge, then self-control, then perseverance, then godliness, then brotherly kindness, and finally love.

I recognized about 2 years ago that I tend to get stuck on self-control.

Up until this point I have been able to hide the fact that I'm not the most controlled person: I'm not in debt, I'm not obese, I'm still married, I don't have a drug addiction etc. However, when it comes to denying myself something, I have a really hard time saying no.

So when the leaders of the church we go to here in Oklahoma said that they were taking the first 21 days of January to fast from something, my first reaction was "Phew! I'm glad I don't have to do that!" But as more and more of my friends and acquaintances around me were declaring their 21 days of "self denial", I felt the tug. I knew it had the potential for huge spiritual growth, but I wasn't sure how badly I wanted that.

I struggled with the decision for a few days, but in the end I knew I should do it. I picked the thing I thought was the toughest for me to say no to, and for me, that was sugar. So for the first 21 days of January I said "no" to my coffee creamer in the morning, my Little Debbie snack in the afternoon, and whatever usual dessert I would have after dinner. People around me were able to shake their cravings by day 4 or 5, but it took until day 14 before I felt the urge subside. It was certainly a stronghold in my life.

Needless to say it was a great exercise in self-control. I made it to day 21 and with triumph realized that I had climbed a mountain that I had previously thought was impossible. All things are possible...

Somewhere around that time it dawned on me that it wasn't just sugar I had a problem with - it was everything. Shopping, sleeping, my iPhone... you name it - I didn't want to give it up. So I had the grand idea that in order to really address this issue of self-control, I would fast from something for the first 21 days of every month this year.

January was sugar - and it was SO HARD! But not only did it teach me a small lesson in saying no, but it also taught me a lot about my body. I learned that my body doesn't actually like a whole lot of sugar - especially in the middle of the day. I felt better, stopped needing naps and had more energy. Surprise, surprise.

February was spending. For these last 21 days I have said "no" to spending money on things that I don't truly need. Another huge step for me in gaining self-control. On day 22, I passed a table outside my twin's kindergarten classroom that read "20% off Best of Books Sale". My automatic response was, "Ooo... that looks great. But... we don't need any books right now." I got home - realized what I had done and did a dance of celebration! Another small triumph.

As I approach March, as much as I am dreading saying no to this one, its going to have to be fast food. I love french fries. There, I said it. And I love the fastness of fast food. So convenient. Long day? Let's go to McDonald's. Didn't have time to cook? Let's grab Wendy's while we're out. It's safe to say that I'm addicted, and I'm sure I've drug my boys right along with me.

SO the first 21 days of March I will be saying no to fast food. Let's hope I gain one more step in the fight for self-control, and maybe I'll save a couple dollars and loose a couple pounds in the process.

Do you want to join me? Is there something in your life that would be really hard to give up for 21 days, but you know it would be good for you? Write me and let me know, and we can spur each other on.

Last Night at the City Rescue Mission

Last night I had the opportunity to go with a group of people from Lifechurch.tv downtown Oklahoma City to a large housing facility for homeless people. It was my first time there, but this group goes once a month and has been doing so for three years. It houses men, women and children from all walks of life. Lifechurch.tv comes once a month to do a church service. They bring in a live worship band, and then will show a message via video. They invite the people to come to the service and offer games and activities in a separate area for the kids.

Upon arrival we were told that the projector was broken, and so there would be no video for the message that night. As soon as I heard that, I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to go and tell the leader of the group that I could share my testimony with the crowd if he wanted me to do so. After a couple minutes of debating if that was really the Lord's voice or not, I decided that I could obey, and the leader could always say no if it wasn't meant to be. So I walked up the leader, introduced myself and offered what I had been sensing. His eyes lit up and said that would be great.

As it began the place started to fill up and soon almost all the chairs were filled. I'm not sure the exact number, but my guess is that there were between 150 to 200 men and women there. Some young, some old. Some looking well put together, some not. Some looking pretty down and out.

During worship I had a moment when I felt like I was touching upon the very heart and life of Jesus. Reaching out to the unlovely, talking with the forgotten ones, sharing a night with people who probably have done some pretty rough things. Listening the their stories and offering them something that will quench their soul's eternal thirst.

After worship the leader of our group got up and spoke about the prodigal son, and the love the Father has for those who have gone astray.

He then invited me up. I had not prepared, had not had time to be nervous. My only prayer was, "God speak through me. God speak through me." I began my story, the story that God has weaved together to make me who I am, and it truly was Him who was speaking through me. The words were effortless as I told them about the events leading up to me accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior. The story just flowed as I convinced everyone in the room that they were not there by accident; that God had purposed them to be there, in that chair on that night. And the Holy Spirit just poured forth as I invited those who had never accepted Jesus into their lives and hearts to do so right then. At least 6 people raised their hands and responded to my call to action. And over 20 came up to the front for prayers and bibles. Our box of bibles was empty within a couple of minutes.

Afterwards, as the group from Lifechurch.tv debriefed together, there were some incredible stories of how lives were touched - both at the shelter and in the hearts of the people that went.

In these last 6 months or so, my daily prayer has been, "God use me. Use me to speak, use me to encourage, use me for your Kingdom and your purposes."

I cried tears of joy driving home from the event rejoicing over where and how He decided to answer that prayer. Not at all as I had expected. I am going to keep praying those simple words; what an anticipation it is to think about what will come next.